(​(​If I See At All​.​.​.​)​)

by The Shortest Distance

/
  • Digital Album
    Streaming + Download

    Thanks for your interest. I'm allowing you to set your own price for ((If I See At All...)). If you are not from the 'first world', please download this at no addition cost from me.

    All downloads include high resolution art, complete lyrics, acknowledgments, and extras.

    For now I'm only making this album available through the Internet so as not to increase my climate change footprint. Until I can find a distribution method which accounts for pollution offsetting, I don't feel comfortable contributing to the climate change train wreck through physical copies right now. Confused? Read this:
    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/20/digital_downloads_and_climate_change/

    The album was made in a wind-powered home recording studio.

    ---

    Gracias por tu interés! Te permito a fijar tu propio precio a ((If I See At All...). Si no sos de 'el primer mundo', por favor ¡descargálo gratis!

    Todas las descargas incluyen arte alta res, letras completas, reconocimientos, y extras.

    Por ahora, ofrezco este álbum por el Internet solamente, para no aumentar mi huella del cambio climático. Hasta que yo pueda encontrar un método de distribución que dar razón a los offsets de contaminación, no estoy cómodo contribuyendo a la ruina del tren del cambio climático por copias físicas ahorita. Confundido? Leá a este (en inglés):
    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/20/digital_downloads_and_climate_change/

    El álbum fue hecho en un estudio de grabación casero eólico.
    ... more
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

    You own this

     

1.
03:58
Better Ways? Harvesting what is it worth Nourishment assumed of course is not of dirt Or is it and it's just cause we cannot see it That flesh on waves seem so abstract Our presence just cannot bring itself to be it But beats and language and such things don't do any more Than make new spaces for the rubrics of our open sores So we should not ignore them They likely started when you were a child Just like us all Hey, isn't that wild? If no one nurtured in us The best ways to grow our minds Than liberation from ourselves Is often what we must find Like heyaw! She-clack-clack! Heyaw! She-clack-clack! And it wasn't easy for me and I have yet to peak But I knew the least resistant path was not the one to seek And now I may be stronger but I still tend to side with the politically weak Those for whom it is still hard to have their voices heard clear when they speak Cause I know there are so many fears 'hind which one can stay Only so many sane paths and only so much day But that’s why we burn and share and attempt to maintain sway With each other and ourselves to light the better ways At least that's what they say I'm gonna question it like I question everything
2.
02:09
Actors Realizing the life I create Is what has me resigned to this fate Reality is no more a spiral pancake As it is a cranky housemate Or another restless night without r.e.m. Or a disempowering system As I strike my fist down I'm keeping these ideas around Cause even they turned their frowns into a lake a love And we're happy making trouble Cause we’re naturally a double Just actors being humble Knowing real life’s a mumble In a state of perceiving the subtle Innuendos outliving their fumbles into limbo To step away from their huddle Out from the muddle To live both for the friction And the cuddle
3.
01:01
4.
01:44
Poetry It surely can’t all be about me I repeat as I mark this territory Ya know it surely can’t all be about me I live a life to be free of ego's fees And its compulsions and disease And its repulsions of what could please When they're based on ignorant ironies But it surely can’t all be about me And gray areas come and go as they always have Leaving familiar colors which offer a bath Absorption of them recalls a time when Time meant nothing to me: living infinite zen No symbols could comprise My attempts to contrive A notion of wholesome nudity To travel at once in flesh and memory To carve with each beat a space in which to be free Equating exaltation to manifestation Our story bears out the price of that crime Against ourselves, our potential to heal And out ability to judge what is real Through accountability Like how I know at death your eyes will see Through me and through my hands And how it surely can't all be about me It starts again - this is where the last beginning ends I’m in for the change so I will keep my range Cause I’m already strange and there exists a danger That I’ll ignore my part - forget to live my art Or I'll choke at every start or applaud my every fart Or I’ll vomit on my friends These kinds of thoughts they never end But they’re the only excuse I see For writing poetry
5.
Circumstantial Certainty The eyes tug on my heart, on my center of being For this moment they connect me with the fleeting Directionless except to them Motionless except for similar whims There’s no denying mmm what I’m seeing Reels, tapes, and digital code a la mode If this bubble were to burst by intrusion, I’d almost certainly implode Probably wipe my face clean off Ashamed that I'd wallow in this trough But, hey, what's a bored boy supposed to do with his load Don't laugh, it's not like I have a spine That's not supported by this easy pleasure's design Giving me unreal say-so through a boob tube This cross is nothing more than an emotional cube Stretched over this frame, my canvas is impaired In this desire a Trojan breast is bared Reinforcing a select few scenes Of possibilities which don't reflect the truest me Or the economics of how I think they could have been dared But don't judge me harsh, it's not like I have a spine That's not supported by this easy pleasure's design Giving me unreal say-so through a boob tube This cross is nothing more than an emotional cube These illusions train us to feed on Pretty faces and their simple songs Good thing there're no big deals Cause it'd be hard to conceal Us tracking our baggage into that golden dawn But it's not like we actually have our own spines Unsupported by that easy pleasure's design Giving us unreal say-so through a boob tube Though lacking that cross could free us from our emotional cubes
6.
7.
02:22
Intention I’m too in control To believe those myths told Everyone feels like me According to all the pelvises I’ve seen My life is unique And it may be extraordinary Hey, honest talk’s not cheap But it can make you boredom wary And I have denied that and I have known that epitaph And I still remember walking down that path With you back then To our spot where only we really went Where all want to go To heal their perception of the truly prone – the alone, the alone Where the sun drew light from you And illuminated memory’s darkness true And you were able to do what I do Remember me fondly As I remember you
8.
Beautiful Things This song might masturbate me And it may just arouse your sympathy But, tell me, what do we stand for Anymore As some might say We’re lost in our theoretical cage Full of ideas for our friends But making no means to those ends And we despise beautiful things When at each rise we complain About being alone in space But our memory’s proven it’s no disgrace Anyway, friends are easy And the best partners are always free Even should you have none, one, or three Our will is only strengthened through remembering these things So let’s plan today Without the numb passive-aggression The future's definitely on the line But you'll find there’s no time to think about time When you despise beautiful things When at each rise you complain About being alone in space When your memory’s proven that it’s no disgrace Anyway, you still have me Whether or not you think I’m crazy Cause I still say we’re not yet free Because everything’s worth remembering to me
9.
02:09
Ooo Brrrn I peer through your eyes I look right to your soul For clues to tell me Why it is that you act in control When you are so un-whole So lost and un-consoled I find more vacancy The signs were clearly foretold So I will forget no more Gotta move on to where my love’s adored My transcendence is near the signs are very clear I will develop me a will without fear I see you may be sad I see you may well mourn But hey remember both of our hearts have been torn I’ll remember you At all your weakest times And will help me to Get you off my mind And into my heart – I’m talking to you About what you’ll inevitably do You’ll go on with your game when I just want you to cry Uncontrollably and ask yourself why Are we not worthwhile to you anymore We used to go back so far before And beyond all this it’s all a circle right? It's like you never understood why we're alive When you stand on the edge of everything You ought to just let wisdom sing But no worries, you don't have to look back again I trust that we've addressed all that we could've meant To have said or been In every last sense
10.
Space Left Blank I cry for the ego undefined And the final moments of an innocence declined The blood is on all our hands Insane parents and self absorb-ed friends My grief doesn’t know where to take this defeat Why can’t I know you again – like you lived across the street I saw your folks and I knew your pain I saw your sex and I knew your shame I saw so much of you when you were so sure no one was looking around for a cure I know you’re not dead, but is this an end? If I saw you again, I could not even begin to defend I needed you, but now I've got nothing to show For my lack of expression, for my lack of needing to know I'm praying for a noise that can drown the strife From a silence that can shape a life Through an empty intention that will paralyze Like a knife in the spine Or an ear for the whine Of the rich killing time I cry
11.
02:28
The Nerve I condone Your being alone Using this time to hone Your notion of the stone That concrete sense of you That drags you toward the view As gravity gives you clues About where you are headed to Bodies give us problems But they can be loved Endless frustrating arousal But they can be loved Offering memory when respected They can be loved Our bodies can be loved And does it ruin the day If hands tempt to satiate Is it innocent play Or a trap which hurls closer to gay And when the hands don’t intervene Are you proud of your restraining? Should you be rest assured through that brand of conceit? How high should one feel if self-love means defeat? And should vision blur Just take some time to nurture We can all intuit our own cure And it doesn't have to feel like something we both must endure Through our love we know the timeless themes are pure
12.
13.
02:24
Honestly?! I don’t know why I even try To get up off my ass to look around And see what I find When you deny That I apply To your search for a satiating love Why not me? I'm here unseen It hurts to be As overlooked as a tree And it’s so sly How it gets by All my radar’s best intentions To slide through and divide Even when shy It will find my Cerebral pride hiding in the open It's no lie It's my pride And we can both lie Yeah, we can compartmentalize All sweet hope into bitter cages With our misplaced prides And love only denies Those who won’t cry Those who will not feel for the truth Silly me Honestly And what happens to me in your story Where do I fit in to your glory As I fade well into your memory And am no longer your dear quarry Good luck!
14.
The Simple Life So you’ve tried to keep your life normal Out of fear of being left out of something Despite the overall suffering And self-hatred you know it brings But it’s just that you’ve been jaded By the looks you that get from beyond there As you walk around buck-naked Sniffing out your big brother’s underwear Admiring all their stains and complaints And the brashness of their sword And just how un-P.C. they can be When they don't want to be ignored So you’ve tried to keep your life normal Fetishizing traditional roles You only question what you perceive as odd From the perspective of your ritual hole But it’s not like this was just made today Trends and histories always pervade us all And then they're reinforced by law In order to keep your love afraid But given sunshine Your kind will unwind Just like any other crime Against our loving and creative minds And how we are intertwined As I fight being blind To the soul of humankind Perhaps you have Socratic irony well defined And I was wrong to have maligned you as you're teaching me to refine And answer my own inquiries of the lines That seem to divide the ties which should bind I once had a troubled mind Fixated only on the wrong it could find But have since learned to recognize That as sure as the sunrise When in such a simple life Where one only sees what's in front of one's eyes Profound answers are so easy to find
15.
Finally (A Clean Palette) I can finally hear dogs barking again Hear autos moving, trains howling in the wind Life sprouts within my sensory perception As responsibility droopy-eyes and pouty-lipses Its war on this, my privileged meditations Silent, my location speaks volumes Cool, curious air beckons me both To climb mountains and curl into caves of cloth with tender longings Choice is a tireless master And I'm occasionally brought to a rapid boil by its heat My foamy former contents are gravity liberated Now carbonized they easily flake off the emotional range on which I simmer I checked – I'm ready to be devoured In moments like this as I close my eyes And let my dreams begin to surmi......
16.
03:02
The Great What a peaceful yawn you just released Your tired eyes looking quite replete Following this day of salubrious conflict We all take pride in how you graciously afflict In your way as you maintain Your rays bright as day I may want you to say “Let’s allay and play today” But, hey, I'll support the great It’s late and we both know our fate Let’s lay with angst at bay Rest safe, your traits deserve no wait Would you like me to Go to bed with you? I would like to, too If it’s what you’d have me do But I don’t need to recognize Exactly what’s between your thighs I’m just glad you answered my cries A human being being tired of lies Oh what a joyous disguise These puppet vessels they shed before our eyes To reveal what is forever implied Amongst the suffering, let us release a sigh
17.
18.
A Digital Redeemer And now I have this gift So I better not stray away It provides something for me And though it may be scandalous to say I have this gift Now I have something to live for Trying not to let it drag behind me Or be doomed to another’s implore My boundaries stretch Over this horizon’s stench As I wander forward I wander to ward it And so I have this gift But I won’t let myself feel ashamed If I discover that My analysis is lame I’ll use my cunning to constrain That bloated vision’s rotting remains I never thought the future would be tame Cause these ain’t no fucking games Redemption knows my name, too As I look through your eyes to view I know that there is much I must improve My knowledge of soon Just like you Beyond that I just gotta learn What with this I ought to do Gotta learn what it's good for And then I gotta show you That I have a gift cause you must have it too And we'll help liberate ourselves if we share 'em deep and true
19.
Questions, Questions Have you ever been nice Have you ever been mean Have you ever been blind Have you ever been seen Don’t you think you’re in love Don’t you think you’re in keen Don’t you think you’re above Ignoring what I mean? Persistence may be taxing But don’t spend your time waxing On and on about your failures and shortcomings Cause some days you come a long way Some days you come a long way Some days you come a long way The dead are already raised And they're gonna help blaze A brand new path On the way to your grave Don’t you think we're waves Flying through open space Don’t you think we’re alive Under each others’ grace? Self-discipline may be taxing But it’s much more worth tackling Than any form of corporal justice What will be your goal after you've smashed the state What will be your goal after you've smashed the state What will be your goal after you’ve smashed the state of things And re-actualized in the now? Will you continue to kowtow To your Pavlovian notion of how You only learn if you burn yourself then bow your head To pray to the pain It's such a shame in the sense of waste That you sing your praises like “Ouch”, “Ouch” When connecting with struggle allows us to disavow Our indulgences with the ease of having fewer doubts And that's why I only play with matches When there is a match of intention Then I'll dig even deeper Before I'll play in their pews In prayer with them in unison Trusting nihilism's thrust to have gone and come See it just gets tired and lonely yet stays at step one But if we hear it's web spun we may remind it how to love someone
20.
Exhibitionism Population explosion After I have fucked everyone Scaling skin and mounting rigidity The power of emotion A done deal This is perhaps the breaking of an ancient seal And I can have no regrets about who heard I can have no regrets about my my words I can afford to have none when sentimentality's thinking of time is disturbed Plurality is consistently Tied to the pattern Or lack thereof To which I bow When in clamor To be enamored With the vanishing point Of the words Of the subtly absurd But I can have no regrets while you are bathed I can have no regrets bout the lives I've saved And I can have no regrets toying with repose I can have no regrets when the very nature of my life, existence, energy, drive and desire's exposed Audacity's erosion Imploding the fun From this space Oh, what else could have been done Teaching a lesson About exhibitionism Public masturbation And what is destined to come Perhaps you can all see why I do what I do Psychic population explosion of my view Keep art accessible also questionable Keep it accountable, open it up to all Lest we fall This is no game you may recall So pardon the pun, but I hope you realize that you have the balls!
21.
Titular Arrogance in a Sigh (Pts. 1-1304.625) And I sigh for the impossibly wry The earthdiver as they ask their self why As my laughter gives pry In its wake, oh so shy Wondering will our love die Cause I can either walk or stay Let the force fall or sway away In an endless parade Of laughter followed by my delay But what would I say If you listened in any meaningful way I'd say that If I see at all, I see me in you There can be no lie if there is no truth If you guard against no failure then they’ll have no proof Just tell me lovingly what you expect me to do Cause I can either walk or stay Let the force fall or sway away In an endless parade Of laughter followed by my delay I can either walk or stay Let the force fall or sway away In an endless parade Of laughter followed by my delay But today I choose to say All I have Is my life I said it once I’ll say it twice All I have Is my life And this is where It must suffice Where chaos takes control And makes me more whole And I know This is a show But it doesn’t mean Energy slows Or time will take its tolls Cause energy is immortal Go on take more of this Self evident implore Walk through this door Fight your youth no more I said it twice I’ll say it thrice All I have Is my life

about

((If I See At All...)) is a vivid series of creative imagery roughly articulating how it is to think about sexuality, desire, pornography, identity, double standards, fickleness, expression, masturbation, and mediums of communication as informed by experiences as a student of social justice and a solo musician and performer.

credits

released December 23, 2009

All songs written, performed, recorded, and mixed by Ramsey Sprague.

All graphic design and photography by him, too.

license

tags

about

The Shortest Distance Mobile, Alabama

Straight-lines and perfect circles exist here.

The Shortest Distance captures some of the artistic expressions of Ramsey Billiot Sprague, a Chitimacha artist born in Dulac, Louisiana and raised in suburban Arlington, Texas. ... more

contact / help

Contact The Shortest Distance

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account